Is it hard for you to listen as others talk about the difficult time someone is having and how they have just started medication? It is really hard for me. I think, “Oh, boy…here we go…if his or her brain doesn’t have a chemical disorder now they certainly will by time the pill pushers get done with them.”
Today in church a woman asked for prayers for her daughter who was having a very difficult time dealing with her husband’s departure and stay in Iraq. He is in the national gaurd. That request was fine…appropriate…but when she added that her daughter was getting better, “She’s on medication now,” I thought I was going to puke.
When, pray tell, is a perfectly valid time to be distraught and worried? Certainly if there was ever a time, it is when your husband is sent off to a war. In fact, I would think if you didn’t feel a little distraught, disturbed and experience some sleep loss, then there is probably something wrong.
Many people, when the chips are down, go to their spiritual adviser for help. Many times that is a minister.
A real crappy minister can make you feel worse by suggesting your faith is not strong enough. But some of our best ministers, some of our better educated clergy…have now been taught to refer any “mental health” problems to a psychiatrist. What a quagmire because soon people with legitimate emotions and legitimate fears are medicated.
I have watched one man, who is extremely intelligent, but a little bit odd to begin with, be placed on more and more medication. And have his medication changed numerous times. Often times there will be an announcement in the prayer chain that he is back in the psych ward. Or that his medication is not working. We are asked to pray that the doctors find the right medication. I have seen the tears in his wife’s eyes.
It is so frustrating to watch this.
Once in a while I will email studies or stories about th the dangers of psychiatric medicine to key clergy. But I am pretty sure that they just don’t understand.
How about you? Did you ever go to a clergy person for help? What did they suggest? Was it helpful or hurtful?
9 comments
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September 8, 2008 at 9:40 am
giannakali
I once went to a priest when I felt God was talking to me and he believed me! We simply prayed. He was a very nice guy…and heck, maybe God was talking to me….
September 8, 2008 at 10:07 am
naturalgal
Hmmm, were you distraught?
Yes, maybe God was talking to you.
Nowadays, I bet, the clergy will refer you…maybe I am wrong…
September 9, 2008 at 3:30 am
naturalgal
Boy, I really thought this would generate a lot more discussion.
September 9, 2008 at 12:07 pm
giannakali
no…I think he would have been the same today…
I actually talked with a minister not that long ago and told him what I was going through and how my spirituality was coming back as I got off the drugs and he was extremely supportive too…
It just depends who you talk too….
some clergy will NOT recommend a psychiatrist and do a laying on of hands and try to get the evil spirits out of you…I’ve seen this happen.
September 9, 2008 at 11:14 pm
Naturalgal
Right, Gianna, and I think that can be very hurtful. That is why this whole thing is so scary.
I might do a post about a minister who really, really helped me. There is another minister who made me worse.
What I thought migh generate more discusssion is that I thought that when people are having problems…even if they aren’t that “Churchy” they turn to the church for help. I see pastors, rabbis..etc. as the gatekeepers…yet I am not hearing that from others.
September 9, 2008 at 11:18 pm
giannakali
No, NG, I think very few people actually go to clergy…there is such stigma in the churches, that I think most people shy away from clergy…
not that there isn’t a significant minority that DO talk to clergy, no doubt.
Also most Americans probably don’t even have a relationship with a clergy member…while the US is a nation of God believers, most don’t go to church.
September 17, 2008 at 1:33 am
PJ
I grew up in church. I’ve been a Christian my whole life. The thing in my life that I was seeking the most help for was when I was sexually abused. I went to talk to a couple of pastors. One took the story I wrote about the abuse and burned it with me, in representation of me no longer being held by the emotions and hurt is was causing in my life. I can honestly say that that burning did not help. I knew what it signified, but it didn’t help my fears and thoughts.
I talked to a few people about it (not many) who all prayed with me that I would get over it and be healed. I always felt God’s love and peace, but I knew I needed more than that.
It was when I went to Bible College that the Dean of Students referred me to a counsellor. Those 4 sessions were the beginning of what changed my life. What I needed was practical things. I needed to be told that “every guy is not the one that abused me”. While the pastors did what they knew to do, and I accepted all that God gave me, I still needed more.
When I began having mental issues, like being unstable, angry and such, it brought me guilt. I was ashamed of my behaviour. There was no way I was going to go talk to my pastor. (Mind you, I work with him, so it would have been awkward). I just feel that there’s such a stigma out there – especially in churches – and that’s what held me back from going to him. Once I was officially diagnosed with bipolar, I did tell my pastor, my boss, what was going on. Once it was out on my blog, and a few other people in my life knew, I did go talk to a friend that is a pastor at a different church. We talked as friends, not as me going to him for help.
In regards to the medication thing, I do think that people are being medicated for reasons that are not legimate. I would hope that doctors have the sense to know when the patient is truly suffering a chemical imbalance, and when they are just sad or stressed out. When it is a sad or stressed out senario, I believe that wellness activities are the way to go. People and doctors are so fast to go for the quick fix – and that’s too bad.
I’ll stop for now – maybe more thoughts will come after. Or, maybe your thoughts in response to my thoughts will create more thoughts!!!
September 17, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Stephane
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September 18, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Naturalgal
Thanks PJ, I appreciate your comments.