Not making a move

So yesterday my girlfriend tell me I should make a move. I think she thinks I should “move on” in my life. She seems to think I should get a divorce.

She also told me about some single guys about my age she knows. She like to play matchmaker.

I don’t think she understands why I don’t just make definite  move. She doesn’t know my mental health background.

I wish there was a way you could try something ( test drive a guy…haha) and then go back if you didn’t like it.  I often wonder if there are any decent guys out their.

I don’t want to divorce my husband and then be poor. Or divorce him and hook up with another guy who is no better.

I am glad I am taking my women’s group classes. Sometimes I think it is a waste, but I know even more how to see red flags. There is one guy I do things with quite a bit now. But I am not attracted to him. He has a couple “flags”. I still do stuff with him as a friend. But that’s all I want from him.

I think my husband still wants me. But I have a hard time relaxing with him. He isn’t free-spirited when it come to intimacy. He is very guarded…and after being with him so many years and being insulted…I am guarded too.

Now he is relaxing a bit, but I don’t know if I ever will.

He is out of town this weekend.  I kinda miss him.