Is your partner a narcissist?

Is your partner a narcissist?

 

 

Do you suffer from shame or low self-esteem

Do you suffer from shame or low self-esteem

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is your partner a narcissist, do you struggle with low self-esteem and shame? If you have been thinking in those terms, I would like to share of the books/literature/websites that have helped me. 

You know, ALL  people diagnosed with mental illness have been told they need to take medication and that they have a life-long disease that they will constantly battle. But one group is given less hope than those labeled bipolar or schizophrenic. Those are the people labeled narcissists. They are believed to be incurable.

Many men who have an abusive history have narcissistic tendencies. When I began searching for help in my relationship with my husband I had a hard time figuring out what to do. Those in the domestic abuse field often say a man is never cured…or it takes hard, difficult work. 

   I found Kim Copper’s “Back from the Looking Glass E-Book” to help me deal with my husband. I think it is helping. I also have started reading her blogs. She has some unique ideas on how to deal with a verbally abusive husband. An added bonus and nice surprise…she is really into healthy eating. Take a look at her husband, Steve, and the good food they eat here. She believes in Omega 3s and amino acids too! Kim and her husband, Steve have a blog and book “The Love Safety Net.” and a website “Narcissismcured.com

(Please be very careful if you believe your life is in danger and do whatever you need to do to stay safe.)

Another a workbook that has been helpful to me and I hope that my husband reads is “The Positive Attitude Workbook” by Lyle Wildes and Joe Kelly. This workbook discusses our attitudes and how we can work with change and what we perceive to be negative to turn it to a positive situation. It is also good for learning how to turn behavior from anger that turn to abuse into changing our thoughts so that we do not become so angry and become abusive…or depressed, or have low self-esteem.

I highly recommend. “The Emotional Freedom Workbook Take it seriously and fill in the worksheet. This book changed my life!  Here is just a little of what the website says: Life changing insights on overcoming shame, depression and unhealthy relationships.

When your dreams get derailed, the culprit can usually be found hiding in your emotional life. It is a pattern of attitudes, habits, or relationships that won’t allow you to move forward, no matter how much you tell yourself you want to.

 

Another good book is John Bradshaw’s “Healing the Shame that Binds You”. 

From the website: “…Toxic shame, most often experienced in childhood, results in the breakdown of our self-esteem, the destruction of the family system, an inability to move forward and form lasting intimate relationships in our lives.”

Dale Carnegie’s book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.  Read a synopsis here.

So, if you are looking for more than a diagnoses and  medication, which I am sure you are or you wouldn’t be reading this blog, and you want something more than just changing what your eat or taking supplements, try some of these books…and do the heavy work of changing your attitudes.

It will take hard work to overcome those thoughts. Your brain wants to go back to default. Try this: Take your hands off the computer and fold them together with your fingers and thumbs interlacing.  Now, look at your top thumb and reverse those thumbs and fingers. Put the thumb that is now on the top, second.

Doesn’t that fill strange?  What do you want to do? You want to go back to what feels right, you want to put your finger back the “right way.” That’s the default…and that’s what your brain wants to do too. But you can overcome your thoughts…which direct your behaviors. (Hat tip to Lyle Wildes)

 

Advertisements