I am separated from my husband. He phoned and wanting to go swimming. I said I was too tired, but that a friend of me was teaching swing dance at her studio. Now we are going to take dancing lessons tonight in one hour.

Why am I doing this?

I don’t think I am really that strongly bonded to my husband. He did not have his wedding ring on after a surgery. I asked the hospital staff to look for it. They asked me to describe his wedding ring. I couldn’t do it. I could not remember if it was white gold or yellow gold. I knew it was just a simple band. I can tell you in detail what my first husband’s wedding band looked like.

I think we are both too scared to be alone, but not really that into each other.

I kinda am alone. Some days I don’t talk to another person are come out of my place. But I know hubby would help me if I needed it.

We went out to eat yesterday for supper.

I tell him most of my dreams and passions….except that I long to have a lover…..and I was hoping he would be that lover. I think psych drugs ruined his libido. And I just can’t imagine spending my life with a husband would really isn’t that into the bedroom.

I felt trapped. We both hate what psychiatriy has done to us.