Well, I did go dancing with my husband on Saturday. It was fun.

On Sunday we went to see the movie, “He’s Just Not the Into You.” It is based on the best-selling book by the same name. See book here.  It is long, 2 hours 9 minutes. But we enjoyed it.

Did you see the movie and what did you think?

I found myself identifying with a couple of the characters. But I didn’ t tell my husband which those were. I identified with Scarlet Johansson’s character in that she continued to date a man that she just wasn’t that into. I also identified with the guy (Bradley Cooper) she was tempted with…. He said he married his wife because she pressured him. And when his told his wife that he had cheated, she still wanted to work it out. (I am not identifying with the cheating part.) I am identifying with dating or continuing to stay married to someone I am just not that into. Later his wife, Jennifer Connelly admitted that the two hadn’t had sex for months.

But when hubby and I went out for coffee after the movie and he flat out asked me what I thought of the movie, did I have the nerve to tell him the above? No. (Just like Scarlet continued to hang with  Kevin Connelly or Bradley Cooper continued to stay married to Jennifer Connolley.)

Actually hubby even brought up Scarlet’s  character and how when her boyfriend asked her to think about marriage she said she didn’t want to spent her life with him.

He then asked me about any blind dates I had had.

I told him about some and the duddy guys I had dated. He said he wished he would have had someone fix him up when he was a young man. I told him how one of our friends was ready to fix me up with someone new when she found out I had moved out.  She thought I was just ready to close the chapter with hubby and move on.

I can’t close this chapter. I am too scared. I don’t think I can make it without my hubby’s financial support. I don’t want to be alone and I am afraid of the stigma of my diagnoses.   But maybe he’s not that into me…maybe that is why he isn’t really that passionate with me….but he is the one that chased me. He is the one that pressured me for  a wedding date. So…I don’t know.

We were both so lonely. We both wanted a partner so bad.

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