I am currently feeling comfortable, centered and content.

modelntl1The 2 parts of the 4 compenents of Nonviolent Communication
The 2 parts of the 4 components of Nonviolent Communication

Hmm, maybe that doesn’t make sense because on the same token I am trying to plan my future. I wonder if I can ever have the relationship I want with my husband and I worry if I can ever support myself if I lose my disability.

The other night in my women’s group we learned about Nonviolent Communication. This is a whole theory and technique on how to express yourself without doing verbal damage to others. We call talk more harshly than we even realize.

So, I KNOW that my husband is verbally abusive.  But I thought my responses to him were rational and logical. But I wasn’t speaking to him from the heart.

I was saying to him, “YOU INSULTED me.  ” I didn’t say, “I feel hurt when you say xyz. ”  There is a difference.

The are four components of NVC:
1. observation

2. feeling

3. needs

4. request

From their website:

Nonviolent Communication is:

This approach to communication emphasizes compassion as the motivation for action rather than fear, guilt, shame, blame, coercion, threat or justification for punishment. In other words, it is about getting what you want for reasons you will not regret later. NVC is NOT about getting people to do what we want. It is about creating a quality of connection that gets everyone’s needs met through compassionate giving.

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