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We just got back from swimming. 

I have been very busy lately.  

I did manage to make some organic potato salad before I met hubby at the pool. Now, he is really hungry. I am going to measure it out before I give it to him.

My doc doesn’t like the chlorine in the pools. He thinks it is very bad for a person. So I am going to have to do a post about that.  I think the health benefits of swimming a couple times a week outweighs the toxic part of chlorine.

When I was in high school I had swimmer’s hair.  It was shiny and it crunched when it was being cut with scissors.

P.S. Good thing I measured that potato salad. There are lots of points in that. Hubby wanted seconds until we figured out the points.




Today was weigh-in day at Weight Watchers.  I lost 8/10ths of a pound. Hubby lost 1 and 4/10ths of a pound.

Hey, that’s pretty good for Memorial Day Weekend!

We ate at a friend’s house on Saturday night. He made at stir-fry chicken dinner. AND he bought all organic! The price of organic chicken just about killed him, but I sure appreciated it.

Yesterday, the Weight Watchers the leader talked about portion control. Many times you can still eat the same things, you just need to measure the size of your portions of food.

She also gave us each a Storyboard (R). She said, “Now don’t use this as scratch paper. Write down your goals and fill in the boxes.”

When I looked at the Storyboarding(R) paper, I thought about all of you out there in cyberland. That’s what many of you are doing. You are setting goals for yourself. Some of you are weaning off your psych meds, others want to get outdoors more, or exercise more and some one to try to eat a more organic diet. I especially  thought thought about Jazz and her series on using journaling and/or writing to heal. 

(Today, as I revisit those posts on her blog I think maybe storyboarding is quite different than journaling, but it is a technique that uses writing down your thoughts as a part of your journey to wholeness. It’s just that you are encouraged to post this on your refrigerator rather than keep it private.)

The Storyboarding(R) technique asks you to write down your dream (goal) and then fill in rectangular boxes, listing step by step what you will have to do to realize your dream. 

People in the group also shared their successes and pitfalls. One lady in the group finally lost 20 pounds. She did it o-n-e   p-o-u-n -d   at a  t-i-m-e and it was soooo sloooow and frustrating for her. One week she went camping, biking and hiking and she didn’t lose one measly little-ol-pound. She said after he weigh-in that week she pulled her car into a McDonald’s parking-lot, sat in the car, and cried. 

“The important thing,” the leader said, “Is that you didn’t give up!” And she didn’t go into the McDonald’s and pig out.

I thought about the people I have met in cyberland who, at times, just want to throw their hands up and say, “I give in. I can’t do it!”  But the important thing is to stay on the path and not give up.

I always bring healthy “treats” to eat in the car after the meeting because my husband is so starved after work that he wants to chow down on anything he can get his hands on. After the meeting, my husband and I sat in the car with our dog.  My husband said, “It is tempting just to crash diet and lose it all at once and be done with it.”  (Now just how long do you think a man who is starved after work would stay healthy if he crash dieted?)

That reminded me of some of the people I bump into on the Internet. They want to get off their psych drugs right away and be done with it. But weaning off your drugs too fast because you just want to reach your goal is like the people who crash diet. If you crash diet, you will crash and burn. It’s the same with weaning off psych drugs. Slow and steady will give you lasting results. You don’t want to yo-yo with your weight or your psych meds. 

Warning: If you want to withdraw from meds you need to do it carefully or you will get sick. Visit Duane Sherry’s  or Gianna Kali’s sites to locate resources.




How to stock a natural kitchen

You can’t eat what you don’t have whether it is  This includes potato chips AND fresh fruits and vegetables. Don’t want to eat junk anymore? You can’t if you don’t have it around. Likewise, wanna eat good food? You can’t if you don’t have it around.

This was written by Edna Sousa on the Kashi website:

Since snacking is about grabbing something quickly and easily, consider some ways in which you can make your healthy snack foods easier to access:

    * Keep a bowl of mixed nuts and dried fruits (raisins, cranberries, currants) within easy reach. You’ll be more likely to grab a handful of this mixture if it’s out in the open.

    * Make sure your celery, carrots, and grapes are already washed and ready to eat — so you can simply pull them from the refrigerator and munch on them.

    * Have both salty and sweet options available because you never know in which direction your snacking mood will go on any given day.

    * Trade industrialized condiments and sauces (which are high in sodium and often contain artificial additives) for homemade versions using fresh tomatoes, olive oil, fresh lemon juice, and spices.

Read the whole article here:How to stock a natural kitchen

I do some complaining about my past docs. But several of them did prescribe walking, canoeing, roller-skating out-of-doors, ice-skating, and camping. Intuitively they knew it will help my state of mind. Research is now backing this up.

It doesn’t have to be that energy intensive. Sometimes just more green space in an urban area can have great affects on mental health. Especially children diagnosed with ADHD. Read more from the website:

Mental health benefits from nature.

Green Exercise Reduces Depression and Aggression in Adults and Kids

© Sue Cartledge

Researchers are establishing credible grounds for green prescriptions — where doctors ‘prescribe’ contact with nature for various conditions — and for parks to be considered a national health resource.

Read more here.

Obsessing is a problem for me. Do you suppose that was one of the reasons I was labeled mentally ill?

I have a hard time letting things go. I play them over and over in my mind. 

Today is an anniversary for me.

I would have been married for 28 years if I had not gotten divorced.

I still miss my first husband. (I know that is probably a terrible thing to admit publicly because it would hurt present-time hubby.) 

My first hubby was very nice. We were very, very young when we got married, but we were married for 15 years. For the most part it was a good, pleasant marriage. I had depression, but I had that before I married him. (Yes, I suppose it was the now-trendy “childhood depression.”)

I blame the pysch-industry for the failure of my marriage. I blame them for doping me up. I blame them for what I now believe was medication-induced mania.

I did some things I am ashamed of when in manic states. I first made a comment about the crazy things people do on Susan Benard’s Bipolar Wellness Writer blog. Susan doesn’t think mania causes a person to do anything against their own moral codes. You can read her post about that issue here.

Hubby hated that I took medication. He said the medication made me into a zombie. Words that still bring tears to my eyes are, “I am sick and tired of being married to a zombie!”

I thought he was cold-hearted at the time. I thought he didn’t realize that that the medication was similar to being in a wheelchair. Would he say the same thing to a woman in a wheelchair I wondered?

Hubby hated my psychiatrists. Not at first he didn’t. The first time the psych-doc diagnosed me as bipolar he asked me to bring me hubby along. Hubby told the doc that he had known my father, and my father had problems getting “worked-up” and letting things go.

At first hubby was supportive. But as time went on he became angry. I asked him to help me with my cocktail of meds. He refused saying, “I’m not going to be your baby-sitter.” That hurt.

I wasn’t getting better, I changed doctors because I believed he was incompetent in finding the correct med for me. (Now I know there is no such thing as the “correct med.”) We also had to change insurance to do this. The next doctor tried to talk to hubby on the phone. She told my hubby that I was a very, very sick woman. I don’t know what else they talked about. All I know is that after that conversation those two hated each other. At a latter appointment she didn’t have much good to say about him.

I remember phoning the doctor and screaming into the answering machine, (we didn’t call it voice mail back then) I screamed into the phone that I loved my husband, he was a good man, and how dare she talk about him with disrespect. The doc phoned me back in a soothing voice and said that I was absolutely correct.

While still married to my husband I would cry to my doc and say, “I just want my husband back.” She gave me some advice…but it was bad. (it was obscene, actually, and it turned him off big-time.)

After my divorce my mother told me that hubby said he could put up with my depressions, but not the manic episodes.

When my husband and I separated. I went to my mom’s. I phoned my doc and she replied, “What a Godsend!” I was sitting at my mom’s thousands of miles from our home, missing my hubby and she thought it was a “Godsend.” 

My first husband thought I was beautiful and intelligent. He was interested in what I had to say. He was proud of me. I was proud of him. Years later, my heart still jumped when he walked into the room. Pride still welled up inside of me when he achieved an accomplishment. I can count the number of times he insulted me on one hand. He hardly ever said anything that would hurt me on purpose. Whenever I went out in public, I would proudly show off my husband. Or if I were with people who were in his circle of friends, but not mine, I would proudly say “I’m “hisname’s” wife!”

Sometimes I lay in at the edge of my bed at night and a tear will roll down my check. I miss him so bad.


You can read Duane Sherry’s take on why bipolar people and others diagnosed as mentally ill need to take responsibility for their actions during their episodes. He says,

“We say that all people are due civil rights, and that NAMI and the TAC have no authority to insist on ‘medical compliance’ – our own healthcare is our business.

And it certainly is – as long as we continue to take responsibility for our own actions. The moment we stop, is the exact moment that we lose our rights.

If a person is unwilling to do so, then they will be seen as ‘unable’ to do so, and they will quickly be made ‘able’ by persuasion, coercion or legal force.”

You can read the discussion on Bipolar Wellness Writer’s “The Disease is NOT the Person post.

See my comment and what sparked the discussion on Bipolar Wellness Writer’s post, “Dealing with Mania and Hypo-mania”

Her post on April 25 was about regrets, forgiveness, and letting go of the past. Read that here under Inspirational quotes.

Peter Breggin writes a response to the Newsweek article about the bipolar child.Dr Peter Breggin makes war on bipolar children



This woman studies the brain, she has a brother with schizophrenia. Maybe we can learn something. She actually had a stroke, which gave her additional insight.

Click the link to see video about the brain.

About this talk

Jill Bolte Taylor got a research opportunity few brain scientists would wish for: She had a massive stroke, and watched as her brain functions — motion, speech, self-awareness –- shut down one by one. An astonishing story.

About Jill Bolte Taylor

Brain researcher Jill Bolte Taylor studied her own stroke as it happened — and has become a powerful voice for brain recovery.

A stroke of insight

Dr. Jill Taylor’s website

I wanted a shakeMiniBarsHubby and I weighted in at Weight Watchers two days ago. I lost 4/10s of a pound. Hubby lost 8/10s of a pound.

We were a little disappointed. But at least we didn’t gain.  We had gone to two parties over the weekend and we pretty much behaved ourselves as far a bad food goes.

I don’t like to eat meat when I go out because you never know what is in the meat, like how the animal was raised…humanely or what hormones or antibiotics it consumed.  Also meat usually has more fat in it.

At one party, hubby took only one-half of a bratwurst. I tried to stay with the veggies. But there was too much meat, chips and sweets. I had one teeny-weeny piece of chocolate cake. At another party I decided not to have the s’mores. Hubby did have three marshmallows.

The key is planning ahead. Eat a little ahead and/or bring something you know you can eat. We did not go hungry. I brought my own homemade organic potato salad to one party, so I knew it was healthy.

The reason I labeled this post “Good treats? or naughty?” is because I purchased two things that I said I wasn’t going to do this time around. I purchased two Weight Watchers products: French Vanilla Smoothie and Chocolate Carmel MiniBars. The list of the ingredients on the back is over my head.

Some people say if you can not pronounce the word (or understand what it is) you should NOT put it in your mouth.

Here is what is in the Smoothie:

nonfat milk, soy protein isolate, gum arabic, natural and artificial flavor, maltosextrin, calcium phosphate, sunflower oil, calcium citrate, cellulose gum, guar gum, soy lecithin, calcium carbonate, carrageenan, santhan gum, sodium caseinate, acesulfame K, potassium phosphate, mom and di-glycerides, sucralose, Vitamin A plamitate, zinc oxide, yellow 5, tocopherols added to protect flavor, Riboflavin, Vitamin D3, Vitamin B 12. (I am not sure which are supposed to be capitalized.)

Here is the ingredients of the MiniBars:

Corn syrup, sugar fructooligosaccairdes, maltodextrin, fractionated palm kernel oil, why protein concentrate, glycerine, high maltose corn syrup, high fructose corn syrup, water, soy protein isolate, cocoa (processed with alkali, nonfat milk, cocoa whey. fructose, calcium carbonate, unsweetened chocolate, natural and artificial flavor, soybean and canola oil, polydextrose, dextrose, cream butter (cream salt, annatto added for color) mono-and digiycerdies, salt, magnesium oxide, soy lecithin, sodium citrate, ferric osrthophosphate, ascorbic acid, DL -alpha tocopheherol acetate, niancinamide, zinc oxide, copper cluconate, tocopherols added to protect flavor, calcium pantothnate, manganese sulfate, carrageenan, prydioxine hydrochloride, Riboflavin, beta-carotene, thiamine mondoitrate, vitamin A palmaitate, chromium chloride, folic acid, biotin, potassium iodide, sodium molybdate, sodium selenite, phytonadione, Vitamin B12.

Phew...after typing that I am really beginning to wonder if I should be eating this.

I bought them because I can easily grab the bars as a treat and I know exactly how many points I have consumed. The shakes, I just thought would be fun.

So, do you recognize any of the ingredients listed above? Any that you know are baddies?

What are Mono- & Diglycerides, Anyway???  

Info on maltodextrin:

tocopherols and tocotrienols

Would you eat the above ingredients?

What do you eat when you are invited to others’ houses?

Let me know how you are going to eat this summer especially if you have been invited to graduation parties, Memorial Day cook-outs, and other summer gatherings.

Hat tip to Duane Sherry at Discover and Recover.

Food Matters, a soon to be released movie.

Your supplements have arrived.My box of supplements arrived yesterday. I use Swanson’s Vitamins because because my M.D. recommended them as reliable AND inexpensive.

Of course if you are lucky enough to have prescription coverage supplements are not covered. You have to pay for them out of pocket. For me this is totally worth every penny. In some ways when I say “lucky enough, ” I really mean “unlucky.” I am sure that my ex-husband’s excellent health insurance plan is what started me on my roller coaster of meds and madness. 

This box of freedom cost me $153.00. Swanson’s says that I saved a total of $248.40 off the retail prices.

I am expecting these to last two or three months for two people. 

I also ordered some treats. Like Tom’s of Maine toothpaste and a couple boxes of tea.

Some people are threatening to regulate the supplement industry. I have mixed feelings about it. I certainty don’t want to see Big Pharma get their hands on it.

You can learn more about this at the FDA site which talks about Codex.

I like to encourage local businesses. Sometimes if I don’t plan ahead I will purchase some supplements at the co-op, a major drug store chain or an independently run supplement store. I really like to purchase something at the independent store to encourage them. 

Just got my mail. I’m to busy to read it…but the cover story is “Growing Up Bipolar, one family’s struggle to raise a trouble son.”


Hmm… I almost to scared to read it.

Need to get back to work…..let me know if you read it.

Added Wednesday, May 21 link to Furious Seasons.

May 2008
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